It's Beginning To Get To Me -- 28 November 2008

Riley was standing by the lake, his hands in his pockets, hsi scarf fluttering in the cold breeze. Tears stung in his eyes. Something had set him off up at the castle -- so he had coem tot eh only place he knew he could just think. Think and be ignored and to be by himself...

"Riley?" Ashley asked as she approached him. It was really cold out... he shouldn't be out there. So Ashley, being the friend she is, came out to get him back inside the castle.

...or so he thought. He looked at Ashley. The breeze was whipping her hair all over the place, her cheeks were red from the wind, she looked cold... how long had she been standing there? Or was it just from crossing the grounds to get to the lake to see what was wrong? "ashley," Riley said, nodding slightly adn then returning his gaze to the lake.

"What's wrong?" Ashley asked. "You're barely dressed to be out in this weather... what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Riley replied quietly.

"This is one time I'm going to force you to talk about it," Ashley replied. "You're out here freezing your ass off. You're going to tell me what's wrong. Now."

"Ashley... It's just everything," Riley replied, surrpised that he was even talking. "I can't stand it anymore. It's really starting to get to me... there's nothign I can do. I'm screwed until next year until I'm seventeen... I just can't do this anymore."

Ashley knew exactly what he was talkign about. "Riley... I know there's nothign I can say or do to make this easier for you... but I can try. Just tell me what happened inside to make you come out here to freeze to death."

"That's the thing," Riley said, "I'm not sure what happened inside... I just know that I had to come out here to think. And what I'm thinking about is just... overwhelming me now more than ever before..."

Ashley put her hand on his shoulder despite the fact that he didn't like to be touched. For once she didn't feel him cringe away...

"Riley, I'm sorry. I really, truly am. But this isn't helping you. You're keeping everything bottled up inside. You need to talk to me... let it all out. It was nice on Halloween... but then you shut down again. Talk to me now," she said softly, hoping that he'd at least turn to look at her.

Riley turned his head and looked at Ashley. "I just can't do this anymore. I can't. It's all just... just too much," he answered.

"What's too much? JUst teh fact of everything that's happened to you within a year? THe fact that it's all bottled up inside? What?" Ashley asked.

"Everything that's happened ni the past year... my whole life... just everything. It has nothign to do with Hogwarts... I'm just sick of Hogwarts being the only place where I'm welcomed. It was always like this. I was hated -- am hated -- by my whole entire family. I could've gotten out... but they couldn't find my bloody godfather because heaven forbid he help his family because he's disowned by my grandparents. And there's the stupid little reminders like my scar on my arm and chest."

Ashley's eyes had tears in them. "Riley, I-I didn't know. I'm so sorry. I know that doesn't help... but you can always lean on me. Always," Ashley replied quietly. It was getting darker and colder out, but she wasn't going to rush Riley inside anymore. If the lake was the only place where they could talk, then she'd stay out there all night talking to him. THey could get warmed up in the castle later. Right now all Riley needed was a friend and Ashley was that friend.

"I'm done. I'm just sick of it all. It woulnd't matter to anyone if I jumped intot he lake and never came back out. No one would care. I could drop dead and my family would actually rejoice," he said bitterly.

"I would care," Ashley replied throatily. "And don't you dare think otherwise, Riley Houston. If you jump into that lake and never come out, I'm jumping in with you. Don't ever say that again."

Riley was surprised by teh emotion in Ashley's voice and the tears in her eyes when he said that. It snapped him otu of whatever reverie he was in. "I-I... I'm sorry," he replied finally. "I-I... didn't realize..."

"You didn't realize that I was your friend? That I cared about you?" Ashley asked with a slight smile. "Of course you wouldn't, Riley... you've never had someone who cared about you before. Never."

"That's not completely true," Riley said. "But you're right, I haven't been cared about for a long time. NOt really, anyways."

"Well, I care," Ashley replied. She shivered when the wind blew. It was probably in the single digits and they were standing by the lake. Talking. But she wasn't going to say anything... not if they were talking.

Riley noticed Ashley shiver. He was used to being out in the cold thinking for long periiods of time... but she obviously was not. "We can go inside," he said. "I don't want you getting frostbite or antyhing..."

"If you don't care," ashley replied, chuckling. "I think that the common room might be somewhat empty... we could sit by the fire... or we coudl continue talking in one of the dorms..."

Riley shrugged. "I guess we'll see when we get to the Tower," he said, leading the way back into the castle.

"Riley... I know this might sound wrong... but can I see that other scar you talked about?" AShley asked quietly as they climbed the steps to enter the Entrance Hall. "I mean... it doesn't matter..."

"I guess we'll see aobut that, too," Riley replied quietly. if he showed her, then she'd ask what happened... and he didn't want to get into that really... but what would be the harm?